The Beginning

It is sort of funny that I talk about how my passion for healing began, on my birthday. (Please, please don't sing. Please.) I didn't plan it this way, but alllllll Him.

All I can figure is that my passion for inner healing was present from the very beginning. I remember different people coming up to me, who I didn't even know or was in relationship with, to share with me that they were cutters and had attempted suicide the night before. I vividly remember trying to hold it together, even though I just wanted to cry as they pulled up their sleeves and fresh, jagged cuts looked back at me. I poured into these girls (as well as got them the help they needed). More than once I would have desperate calls at 3 am and just the need to talk them off the cutter ledge before they would grab the nearest sharp object. I've always seem to been my friends verbal journal, as they would need to unload all their hearts deepest longings and wounding's. More than a few times, I would have my friend's stare at me and wait for grand wisdom to pour out. I must have said things right, because they kept coming back... they still do : ) 

But the other realms of healing... relational (another post, another day) financial (some other time, please) spiritual... physical is the one who I'm going to talk about next. 

My Father died when I was 13 from Lung Cancer. It spread to other areas like his brain and liver. I grew up angry and depressed. I am a Daddy's Girl, so this dealt a deep, powerful blow to my young heart. But, losing my Mom... my beautiful, strong, wise Mom last May... ugh

My Mom was diagnosed with brain cancer Jan 2010. It was a long, difficult road. The first day she was admitted to the hospital with unexplained seizures, I threw myself across her bed and begged God to fix her. Every night (and day and afternoon and moment) I spent beginning God to zap that tumor and heal her wholly. I hadn't known that God still healed today, I mean, really healed. I knew people said He did, but I never saw anything. From the day that she was sick, I started searching. I needed to know if God still did really heal today, and if He would heal my Mom. 

I know that even though Mom ultimately decided she was done fighting, and went Home to be with my Dad and our Lord, that God still does heal. Don't mistake me. Death isn't healing. Oh no. Mom died, she wasn't healed. She went onto where we are all Running Towards. Death is death. Death is bad. God doesn't do bad. He is Always Good. But I know that Mom just didn't have it in her anymore to keep fighting. I understand that, and hold nothing against her for choosing to leave me and my brothers. 

God heals. His heart is for our healing. Every form. I've seen countless miracles since I started fervently striving to find out the Truth. I've laid my hands on many and seen instant healing. I've studied and researched and listened to countless teachings... not to mention it's obvious in His Word that healing is always His will here on earth. Always. This belief I would jump in front of a train for. 

So I can't wait to share with all of you the healings I've seen, been a part of, and my own. I've had some physical healings myself but I've been on a journey of inner healing for a couple years now. I was able to get to a certain point and have been doing so so well. But it's time that I get some counseling to obtain full healing. I've sent in the paperwork, and I should be hearing in a week or so. I've been wanting to do this for years, and I know the time has come and I do not want to put it off any longer. I honestly can't wait to get started! I know it will be hard, but it will be so good. So very good. 

In other news, we are supposed to get severe thunderstorms today... they are my favorite. I hope they come :) 

Patience

Recently I told a dear friend that patience was not my talent, nor my virtue. As a "seasoned Christian" (those words alone could be a series of blog posts... seasoned... psh!) I've learened to never ever pray for patience, because God just doesn't zap you with it. Oh no, friends, He gives you opportunities to be patient. You will wait in the longest line, get behind the slowest grandpa on the road, or even be put on hold for a cruel amount of time... or!... oh the list could go on and on. 

God spoke to me a week or so ago and told me it's time to start this blog. It's time to share His Heart. The blog address of this little piece of the internet is hisheartisforhealing.blogspot.com because that is exactly what I've uncovered. His Heart truly is for healing. Whether it be physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, financial, relational, etc etc.  

Slowly, God has been downloading to me what direction He wants this blog to go and I'm working on it. I won't be trying to fill some sort of number a posts a week, but I will be writing as He tells me to write. I know He wants to share the testimonies of His healing that I see and experience when getting to minister to others. But the more vulnerable and scary part, is I know He wants to me to share my own personal journey of healing. This is already making me antsy and start to sweat a bit. But I know He must want me to do it as part of my journey, and maybe, as an aid to others. 

My life has not been easy, but any stretch of the imagination. But my God always wins with a pair of twos, no matter what He has to work with. He works all for good, and I believe that with every fiber of my being. He is good. He wants only good for us. And He is working that out. It's time to actually post this thing, instead of having a saved draft. It's time to start this piece of my journey.

So all of that to say, be patient with me. He has been downloading what He wants to say, it will be worth the wait. :)